20
Apr
09

And what I am working on at the moment:

“Halloween? Couldn’t you have told this story yourself? You were there.”

“Yes, I was. You had a specific view, though. I’d like to hear how you remember it.”

“Ok. Well…Halloween was rough. I always loved Halloween until that night. It’s a spectacular holiday. There’s the obvious stuff, I mean, how cool was it when you were a kid to dress up and be someone new? You were anyone you wanted to be, some movie character, or some concept that frightened you. It was liberating when you were a kid. You’d rush home from school, and all that weight from the weeks and months prior were gone on Halloween. Thanksgiving and Christmas break were around the corner, and you could celebrate it by being a ghost or a monster or whatever.

When you get older it’s a bit more nebulous. Like everything else when you’re a teenager, it’s about proving how adult you are, how sexy you can be. The general idea stays the same though, as your childhood comes to an end, and you’re more into getting laid then candy… But, but you’re still slipping into someone different. You’re carving off your insecurities and your someone new, ready for the new year.

I lost my virginity on Halloween, you know. I was thirteen, and his name was Shane. He was so gorgeous, and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. We left a party – we told everyone we were going to egg houses – and we ended up at his house. We were careful then, still unsure of how it worked, who we were, why we were doing it or what it meant. But I knew at the time that I loved him and I wanted him to know. Puppy love, I guess. My first real crush, the first guy that I could open up to and the first guy I could be myself with. It wasn’t just a gay thing. It was a teen thing. I’m sure you remember.”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Ha ha ha. It was so bad. We were at it for over an hour, which sounds like heaven now, but we were so scared of being caught by his parents that every time we started to get into it we had to stop because we thought they were trying to get in. They eventually broke it up, but I don’t think they figured out what was going on. When we heard them trying to come into the room we quickly got dressed and darted to opposite sides of the room. They just saw some beers Shane had stolen from the fridge and figured that was what we were hiding. I was sent packing by his mother, and his dad laughed and patted his son on the back saying shit like ‘Aww, honey, they’re just being boys.’

Every other Halloween, though, something always seemed to happen. I don’t know what it is, the fall, or the cool air, or the colors on the trees, or whatever. It was always so amazing. Now… I don’t even go out for Halloween anymore. I just sit in my apartment and hand out candy to the neighborhood kids when they knock. Things changed. It wasn’t fun anymore.

I don’t know if that’s because I finally grew up, but every time October thirty-first comes around all I can remember is Jennifer screaming. I guess that was the beginning of it, wasn’t it? I mean, when things started to go badly, and the infamy became a little too much to bare, and it wasn’t as fun anymore. Right?”

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Mike Black is…

A writer, reader, commentator, music lover, art lover, futurist, tech lover, pragmatist, romantic, DepDecoist, and a bastard. Hopefully you enjoy.

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