Archive for October, 2006

02
Oct
06

Hrrrhrrrrrh

(prose action, opening or notes to a later work.)

In theory Dr. Mordred’s Saturday Night SINema was a perfect showcase for terrible horror movies, and gore flicks that were written and produced in the Lubbock area. Mordred would shamble about in tattered coattails and a gray top-hat, slurring his speech, and flailing around with plastic human remains as he introduced the evening’s entertainment. Mordred, who’s real name was Ryan Sandoval (PetWorld’s night manager monday thru friday,) had originally conceived of the idea after seeing clips of a similar public access show in Panama City.

He had spent most of his life collecting any horror movie he could find. Copius amounts of money spent in converting VHS to DVD, trolling through bins in flea markets and Horror/Sci-Fi conventions each summer. He also nightly dreamed of fistfights between Vampira and Elvira that would end in hushed embrace – most often at the foot of his own bed. Horror, it seemed, was all Mordred cared for.

In practice, however, Dr. Mordred’s Saturday Night SINema was a perfect joke for all fans of the macabre who lurked in the shadows of the Lubbock area. Sandoval had long since tried to hide his high-pitched squeek under the guise of a terrible Bela Lugosi impression. He would often drink half a gallon of milk before each taping to “slime up” his voice, but mostly would serve to stain his makeshift zombie cotoure – turning red blood stains into pink swathes of dripping comedy. It was long held that he would pour Pepto on his clothes to achieve an effect of dried blood, but once it was understood that this was an unfortunate side effect of his milk voice, Sandoval became something of a living symbol for Ed Wood fans’ eternal desire to see people fail.




Mike Black is…

A writer, reader, commentator, music lover, art lover, futurist, tech lover, pragmatist, romantic, DepDecoist, and a bastard. Hopefully you enjoy.

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